The one thing I neglected to do as a mom

"Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son." Genesis 22:12 

Being a mom is by far the hardest thing I've ever had to do.  And being a "good" mom?  Well, that's as illusive as chasing the end of a rainbow.  It's the only job where the skill requirements change from moment to moment so you can never master them.  So, what do I do?  What any Type A mom would do...I consult my good mom checklist:

ü      provide home-cooked meals (I even wear an apron which I think deserves bonus points)

ü      help with homework and volunteer at school

ü      pray with the kids and teach them about Jesus

ü      instill good manners (work in progress)

ü      teach them to be a good friend and stand up for others

ü      cart them around in the Mom Mobile to baseball, soccer and tumbling

ü      always have cookies in the cookie jar

ü      pray for them

My goal is to be June Cleaver but cooler.  You know, I'm an expert stain remover but I can also do the Nae Nae.  I thought my list covered all the biggies but this morning I realized it was missing the most important thing of all!

Give my kids to God!

This realization stung a little.  It's a lesson I should have learned the last time God showed it to me, but I can be a tad bit stubborn (hmmm, wonder if that's where my kids get it from?  Nah, must be the hubby's fault).  We adopted our youngest through the foster care system.  It's a process that often requires long waits of not knowing if you will have the child for another week, month or forever.  During this time with our daughter, God showed me that our oldest was no more "ours" simply because he was born to us than the child we longed to adopt.  Both of their futures were in God's hands, not ours.  Our children belong to the Lord.  Yes, He's entrusted us to help raise them with Him, but they are His!

If they belong to Him already, how can we "give them back" to Him?  I think it's a matter of simply acknowledging before the Lord that they belong to Him.  We see this in Genesis 22:1-12 where Abraham is asked to sacrifice his only son, Isaac.  It's a beautiful foretelling of how God would one day sacrifice His only son to save us but also an example of entrusting everything we have to the Lord's will, especially our children. By placing the child he'd waited 25 years to hold on the altar, Abraham is giving him back to God. 

What happens when you give them back to God?  Honestly, at first it was a little scary.  I like having control and this was completely relinquishing it.  Of course, I never really had control to begin with, but I had fooled myself into the comfort of thinking I did.  After that brief moment of fear came peace!  After all, who's a better person to care for my kids than the One who made them?  As hard as it is to imagine, God loves them even more than I do.  He wants what's best for them and can provide it.  I think the One who controls the seas can control my kids' futures just fine.  With that peace, also came relief.  Now I know it's not all on my husband and I to parent, we are partnered with the best Daddy that's ever been!

Let's pray together ~

Lord, letting go of my children is scary.  Somehow, all the worry and effort makes me feel like I have control.  Like if I do everything just right, no harm will come to them and they'll always choose to make right decisions.  I realize that worrying won't accomplish anything but trusting you will.  I know my children don't belong to me; they are yours, Father.  Thank you for trusting me to raise them with you.  Though they have always been and always will be yours, I give them back to you just as Abraham did with Isaac.  I trust you with their hearts, their futures and with their very lives.  Thank you for loving them even more than I do.  I know they are in good hands!

ü      Give my kids to God

For more information on how I handled the adoption process, check out my post http://inthewrightdirection.blogspot.com/2013/10/when-your-daily-bread-isnt-bread.html