Christian Resolution Solution

"See, I am doing a new thing!  Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?  I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." Isaiah 43:19

There's just something special about anything new...that new car smell, the softness of a newborn's skin, the first signs of Spring.  New means clean and fresh and brings with it the excitement of possibilities.  That's why one of my favorite things about God is that He is a god of new beginnings.  In the beginning, He created the heavens and the earth (Genesis 1:1) and ever since He's been giving those who turn to Him a new life.  Ezekiel 36:26 says, "And I will give you a new heart and a new spirit I will put within you."  2 Corinthians 5:17 promises that if we are in Christ, we are a new creature and Lamentations 3:22-23 tells that His mercies are new each morning.  Isn't that exciting!

With the new year approaching, I've been thinking about new beginnings and trying to decide if I want to commit to a resolution.  Now, you and I both know there's nothing magical about the start of a new year any more than the start of a new day or week, but there's nothing wrong with starting off 2015 with a Christ-centered goal.  In fact, I think it's wise for us to look back at how we've grown more like Christ over the past year and pinpoint areas that could use a little improvement.  After all, we receive grades in school and evaluations at work so why shouldn't we take the most important area of our life just as seriously?

Pray About it!

We should take the time to sit with God and ask Him what He would like for us to do or change.  Maybe it's to set aside a daily quiet time to read our Bible and pray?  Maybe it's to work on a specific issue like a bad attitude or quick tongue?  To be more disciplined with our thoughts?  To forgive?  Maybe we could study and work on the fruits of the spirit one by one?

Commit to it!

Whatever it is, we need to write it down and put it where we can see it each morning. We can study to see what God's Word says about it and consider getting a Bible study on the topic.  Let's set goals and celebrate reaching them.  Maybe even ask someone to be our accountability partner?

See it through!

Let's refuse to give up and instead strive for the prize (Philippians 3:13-14)!  Replacing old habits with new ones will take time but if we pray for guidance throughout the day instead of relying on our own willpower, no habit will be too hard to break.  Unlike resolutions made on our own, we have the assurance that when we seek to do God's will for our lives, He will help us.  "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."  Philippians 4:13

Let's do this!  I want to look back at 2015 and know I'm more like Jesus!

Managing Your Emotions Part 3: Emotions Are Good!

The last two posts have discussed why it's a bad idea to be led by our emotions and why it's so hard not to be.  Parts 1 and 2 are on the right side of the page if you would like to read them.

Honestly, emotions have cost me quite a lot through the years; relationships, tears, integrity, sleepless nights and most of all, peace.  I've often wished I could just flip a switch and turn them off forever but nope, they are as constant as the color of my eyes.

Why, oh why would God give us emotions if they are capable of causing us so much trouble?  Genesis 1:27 says that we are created in His image so that means God has emotions too. 

• Anger - Psalm 7:11, Ezra 5:13, Exodus 22:24, Deuteronomy 9:22, Romans 1:18
• Laughter - Psalm 2:4 & 37:13,  Proverbs 1:26  (I can't wait to hear God laugh!)
• Compassion - Psalm 103:13 & 135:14, Ezekiel 33:19
• Grief - Genesis 6:6, Psalm 78:40, Isaiah 68:10
• Love - Jeremiah 31:3, John 3:16, 1 John 4:8
• Jealousy - Exodus 20:5 & 34:14, Joshua 24:19
• Joy - Jeremiah 32:41, Zephaniah 3:17, Isaiah 62:5 

Isn't it comforting to know that our King not only knows WHAT we are feeling but HOW we are feeling as well?  That's what makes Him relatable which enables us to have a trusting relationship with Him.  Emotions are also what make us relatable to others we need to reach for Christ.  Our sympathy leads to forgiveness, our compassion to giving, our love to sharing Jesus, our anger to seeking change, our grief to the comforting arms of our Father. 

Emotions are good, they just weren't created to be in charge!

As much trouble as I've gotten myself into by not controlling my emotions, I have to admit that life would be pretty bland without them.  Think of what it must have been like when TV switched from black and white to Technicolor!  Yowzers (that's what I imagine people would have said back then)!  Feelings make life more colorful and lively.  With anger, sadness and loneliness, you also get laughing so hard you can't breathe, the tingle of holding your husband's hand and tears of joy when you hear "mama" for the first time.  It's worth it!

Emotions are a gift from God.  They are good, but like other gifts from the Lord, Satan tries to twist them into something that can cause us harm.  We've let him get away with that for far too long.  It's time we took back control of our emotions.  They don't need to be the star of the show, just the Technicolor icing on top!

The next post will look at ways we can put emotions in their place.  Please, please, please message me, email me, call me, smoke signal me with your ideas...I need your input!

Managing Emotions Part 2: The UnFun Roller Coaster

Yesterday, I posted Part 1 of Managing Your Emotions.  It was all about how emotions can be mean little boogers...they are unstable, ever-changing and they lie.  If you didn't get a chance to read it, I hope you will take the time to scan through it.  It's not Hemingway or anything but it does make some valid points about the dangers of relying on our feelings. 

So, if our emotions are unstable and untrustworthy, why are we so easily lead by them?

1. They are our constant and earliest companion.  Our emotions are with us every second of every day, everywhere we go which makes them a little difficult to ignore.
2. They are LOUD little things!  Feelings can be incredibly strong and run deep which also makes them hard to ignore.
3. Even though they often lie or make situations seem larger than life, they seem genuine and justified at the time.  The old adage to "just sleep on it" comes in handy here.  It's amazing what a difference a day makes.
4. They demand urgency, convincing you something must be done right away or you will fall over dead from the unaddressed injustice.  Once again, "just sleep on it" sounds like words of a genius who's been there, done that.  We seldom make wise decisions or choose wise words when acting out of a sense of urgency.
5. Emotions are a habit.  If you're like me, you've let emotions manage you instead of you managing them for as long as you can remember.  They aren't going to relinquish their control over night.  You've got to replace the bad habit with a new one by repeatedly choosing to be led by God instead.

It's easy to see how emotions are the perfect tool for Satan to hold us back and load us down with all sorts of trouble.  If we are constantly led by them, we can be sure to expect:

1. fights with friends and family
2. needless worry (all worry is needless.  See Matthew 6:25-27)
3. a constant roller coaster that's not fun
4. magnified insecurities
5. drama, drama, drama

Yuck, none of us wants a life like that.  That's why we've got to learn to trust God instead of our emotions if we are ever going to experience the peace He intends for us.  God is everything our emotions are not!  He's trustworthy.  2 Samuel 7:28 says, "  Lord God, You are God; Your words are true, and You have promised grace to Your servant."  He is also stable and constant regardless of our changing circumstances.  Hebrews 13:8 promises, "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever."  There's no better foundation to build a life upon than God. 

All of this focus on the negative side of emotions is draining but needed.  Tomorrow, we'll turn things around and talk about the good that comes from our feelings.  Yes, those lying little boogers are good for something!

Managing Emotions Part 1: Emotions Are Mean Little Boogers!

"We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,"  2 Corinthians 10:5

A while back, I was given the opportunity to guest teach a youth girl's class at my church on the topic of managing emotions.  I was thrilled to be assigned this lesson because it's an area of my life I've really been working on over the last couple of years. 

Now, with that being said, there are still moments you could speak to me and think, "She's come a long way in learning to control her emotions???  Yikes, what was she like before?"  That's why I mercifully claim the scriptures above, Philippians 3:13-14, as my life verses; I think they perfectly summarize our Christian journey.  I haven't obtained perfection in managing my emotions but I am pressing forward and seeing progress with each passing day.  Hey, it's not easy breaking a habit that's dug in over 30+ years (don't ask how many pluses!). 

But, I'm determined to exit the emotional roller coaster once and for all and resist all future rides.

I shared with those sweet and crazy girls an example of how terrible it would be to have an unstable boss at work.  Someone who's up one minute, down the next.  Someone who lies constantly, stirs up trouble where there is none and is just simply unpredictable.  None of us would want to be managed by someone like that and yet many of us are...our emotions.

Emotions are based on feelings and feelings aren't stable!  Feelings are unstable because they can be easily swayed by so many things:

• our circumstances
• who we are around and their attitudes
• how much rest we've been getting or not getting
• our insecurities
• hormones
• other's opinions of us
• how we feel physically
• how much time we've spent with God                    

                                                                                                the list is endless!

Not only are emotions unstable, but they also lie:

• emotions can convince you a friend is angry with you when really, they are just having a bad day and it has nothing to do with you
• they say you aren't good enough, aren't liked or accepted when nothing could be further from the truth
• they convince you someone was talking bad about you when you entered the room when they were actually saying how much they love your outfit
• they whisper that things will never get any better and that you can't change when God's word clearly offers hope to the contrary

You get the picture.  Emotions can be mean little boogers!

So, if emotions are unstable and lie, why are we so easily lead by them?

We'll tackle that question tomorrow but until then, I'd love to hear your thoughts, ideas and struggles with emotions. I could use all the insight you are willing to pass along.  

Mind Your Own Business!

"and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life:  You should mind your own business and work with your hands..."  1 Thessalonians 4:11

I recently helped my grandmother sort through my great-grandmother's jewelry.  My great-grandmother, Maw, had a love for all that sparkled along with a knack for making necklaces that would rival anything Charming Charlie has to offer. 

As we combed through the pieces, I dreamed of all the ways I could incorporate these treasures into my wardrobe.  But that dream quickly became a jumbled up, tangled up nightmare!  At least a gazillion (okay, maybe it was more like 7 but it might as well have been a gazillion) of the strands were connected in a maze of mess.

Now, I am not exactly known for my patience.  In fact, if my precious grandmother hadn't been sitting by my side, I probably would have ripped them apart Hulk style and been done with it.  Thankfully, we were able to get them all separated and of course, it was well worth every second of the untangling process.  On a side note, if you ever need me to be patient, the promise of homemade coconut cake seems to help. 

Where is this lovely story leading you might ask?  Well, yesterday as I sat down on the back porch to read my Bible and pray, I couldn't focus.  My mind felt just like those jumbled up, tangled up necklaces; thoughts running in every direction but leading nowhere and beads of emotion making it impossible to unwind.

As I asked God to untangle the mess, it dawned on me that much of what was occupying my thoughts was none of my concern.  And wouldn't you know it, the Bible has a verse for that!  1 Thessalonians 4:11 says to "make it your ambition to lead a quiet life:  You should mind your own business and work with your hands..."  That's pretty straight forward, huh?

Unfortunately, it can be pretty hard to mind your own business sometimes.  It seems like we are constantly being bombarded with other people's business with every call, text or scroll through social media.  It's easy to get distracted and caught up before you even realize it.  I love that the verse says to work with your hands (note that it says hands, not scrolling thumb!) because it is hard to wander into someone else's business when you are actively working on your own.

Once I removed all the thoughts that were none of my business, my mind felt less jumbly and my burden seemed lighter.  Of course being both Type A, as y'all well know, and forgetful to boot, I thought it would be best to see my responsibilities (my business) in writing. 

Look how small the list is!  Now that's doable!  

The Cost of Perfection

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ's power may rest on me.  2 Corinthians 12:9

I know I'm not perfect but I sure want to be.  I think even my list of what I want to improve upon...is well...perfect.  I'm not seeking the perfect body, home, hubby or kids.  I'm not hoping to obtain the perfect balance in my bank account or the perfect wardrobe.  I want good, Christiany perfection. I want to be a perfect mom and wife.  I want to be a more obedient and trusting child of God; a Proverbs 31 kind of woman.  I want to write perfect blog posts!

I want all of this perfection for the right reasons and for the right people.  I want it so those around me will see how awesome God is and want to know Him better.  All good things, but honestly, it's not working out too well for me.  I simply can't pull off perfection and striving for it is exhausting (seriously, EXHAUSTING)! 

Repeatedly falling short of my unrealistic expectations is disappointing (and EXHAUSTING).  We simply weren't meant to be perfect so it's like a right handed person trying to do everything left handed.  It's EXHAUSTING people!

But the absolute worst part about seeking perfection is that it often causes us to do the opposite of what we were hoping to achieve in the first place.  Take my blog for example...I'm so hung up on wanting each post to measure up to some imagined level that I often find it hard to post what I write in fear that it will fall short.  My goal is to share what God is doing in my life but I often end up not sharing at all. 

What good is a boat that never leaves the dock?  What good is a voice that's never heard? 

At some point, we have to realize that a messy message is often better than no message at all.  God can use messy and imperfect.  On the other hand, He can't use what we never do!  And why on earth do we set such high standards for ourselves when the One who called us, the only one capable of perfection wants to use us just the way we are? 

2 Corinthians 12:9 says that His power is made perfect in our weaknesses. God knew I couldn't spell, loved run-on sentences and misused commas when He called me to start In the Wright Direction and guess what?  Not one of you have commented on my lack of grammar skills (don't take that as an invitation to start).

I know you've probably seen lists like this before but I hope you'll take a look anyway:

Jeremiah was too young

Abraham was too old

Moses stuttered

Gideon was afraid

Rahab was a prostitute

David was an adulterer and murderer

Jonah ran from God

Peter denied Christ

Martha was a worry wart

Lazarus was dead

and yet God used every single one of them and their testimonies are still changing lives today.  What's your excuse?  God gave us these examples to demolish our excuses and give us hope.  He wants to use you just the way you are.

I hope you'll pray for me as I battle my excuses for not writing more often and if you let me know, I'll pray for you too.

P.S. - Brandall, my editor,  wants it noted that I already have the "perfect husband," and he corrected 4 grammatical errors in this post.  

You Grow Girl!

"Like newborn babies, long for the pure milk of the word, so that by it you may grow in respect to salvation."   1 Peter 2:2

My kids love to hear how much they've grown and being raised in the South they've each heard their share of, "Wow, you are growing like a weed!"  At this phase in life, it's easy to see how rapidly they are changing.  It's evident in the shoes and clothes that have to be replaced every few months, the loss of teeth, a changing voice and an ever growing grocery bill. 

My daughter measures her growth by where the bathroom counter comes to her waste as I style her hair before school and my son by how easily he can pick me up off the ground.  Okay, I have to just keep typing here because if I stop, I will cry (possibly for days).  Seriously, I no longer pick up my son and carry him on my hip; he picks me up instead!

Anyway, my kid's excitement at seeing their progress has me wondering why I no longer get excited by my own growth. 

Last night, I had the opportunity to teach a girl's Bible study class at my church.  When I discovered the subject was managing your emotions, I just knew this was an assignment straight from God.  It's a topic near and dear to my heart because I've actually been working on managing my emotions for the last couple of years.  As I sat down to pray and make notes for the class, I was amazed at how much I had to pass along...because I have grown! I was elated to see that I was a few inches taller in this area than I once was. 

Whether it's in my work outs, breaking bad habits, being a good mom, etc., I tend to focus on all I'm lacking.  All I can see is how far I still have to go.  I never stop to notice just how far I've already come!

Leading the Bible study gave me the chance to do just that.  It was like standing with my back to a door frame ticking off a pencil mark and stepping away to see a big gap between the me of two years ago and the me of today.  It was exciting!

It can be so easy to get tied up in striving for perfection that we overlook all that
God has already accomplished in us.  But it's comforting to know that God doesn't overlook our changes any more than you could go without noticing your own child's growth.  He sees, He acknowledges and He celebrates your growth each and every day!

Today, I hope you will slow down enough to see, acknowledge and celebrate just how far you've come.  It might give you just the encouragement and excitement you need to keep going!  You're doing it...inch by inch, and heading in the (W)right direction!

8 fun and frugal ways to bond as a family this summer

I wrote the following for a guest post for Birmingham Bargain Mom.  I was excited for the opportunity and hope you will check her out at http://blog.al.com/bargain-mom/index.html

If you’re like us, the school year is a blur of games, lessons and homework. Sure, we spend a lot of time together as a family but it’s way too structured for my taste and leaves me longing for the laid back, easy-going days of summer.

Now that summer has finally graced us with her presence, I want to make sure my family has fun and makes memories we’ll never forget. I’ve put together a list of our favorite family bonding activities and hope you will share yours with me as well.

1. Eat dinner together with pizzazz! – Eat outside on the porch, have an indoor picnic, eat hotdogs on fine china in the dining room by candlelight, eat with chopsticks, have theme nights (think Chimichangas and refried beans with salsa music and printed tidbits about Mexico), let the kids choose their favorites to prepare.

2. Family Fun Night – unplug, no TV or video games, gasp! Get outside and play 4-Square (we are hooked! Check out www.squarefour.org/rules), hide-and-seek, badminton, catch lightning bugs, go for a walk, have a water gun battle or play in the water hose.

3. No Whining Wednesday – I thought this would be a tough one for the kids but I think it’s actually harder for me. First of all, no one is allowed to be negative or complain. Secondly, if you say something unkind to someone, you have to say 5 nice things about them. Lastly, I don’t get onto the kids unless absolutely necessary. I’ll stop them from punching each other but will try to look the other way as they chew with their mouths open, forget to say “thank you” or make a mess. Believe me, it’s hard at times but so worth it! I didn’t realize how often I gripe about the little things until I decided not to.

4. Get in the kitchen together – No need to spend hours over a hot stove on a hot summer day. No one will complain about getting to build their own pizzas (try individual pizzas on tortillas), subs, nachos, or smoothies. Have bowls of toppings and let the fun and creativity begin.

5. Science experiment or art project day – I love Pinterest! I have an entire board set aside for experiments and projects I think my kiddos will enjoy. Sometimes on grocery buying day, I let them peruse the board and pick out something they want to do together. We make a list of the supplies we’ll need and out the door we go. They never complain about having to go to the store when they know we are buying project supplies along with our weekly groceries.  (Bargain Mom note - here's a story I did about water experiments with the kids that kept them busy for hours)

6. Start a hobby together – My son and I are currently working on our second model airplane!

7. Do something for someone else – bake homemade cookies and deliver them to your local fire department, visit someone in a nursing home, mow a neighbor’s yard, etc. You’ll have a day you can be proud of and raise kids to be proud of too. (Bargain Mom note, here's the recipe for the cookies featured in the gallery)

8. And because you don’t want your home condemned by the time school rolls around,Set the oven timer and get to cleaning – This is my most genius mom idea ever! Set the timer for 15 or 20 minutes. Have everyone start in their own area and then expand, cleaning and straightening as fast as possible until the timer sounds. No one wants to clean but knowing you don’t have to do it for long makes it seem less daunting and even fun. Sometimes we look around in amazement at what all we were able to accomplish in such a short time. Then, back to building a sheet tent in the den!

5 tips for finding your perfect parenting style

The following post first appeared as a guest blog I wrote for Birmingham Bargain Mom.  I hope you will check out her website at http://blog.al.com/bargain-mom/index.html.

Like any good Type A mom, I started preparing for my first born before he was even conceived.  I began eating healthier, quit drinking caffeine and started prenatal vitamins. During pregnancy I avoided household cleaners, refused Tylenol and Tums and even covered my nose and mouth while pumping gas to avoid fume inhalation (cute, huh?).

My desire to be the perfect parent was even further magnified when I held my precious son for the first time. He was new and untarnished and I was determined to keep him that way.

The problem was, I had no idea how to do so! I say we skip Algebra class altogether (never tell my kids or any math teachers I said that!) and take a course on what to do when your child won't eat anything green and you just know they will develop rickets or how to respond when your toddler throws a tantrum the size of Texas right in front of your mother-in-law! Now there's a class we could all benefit from and there's not a calculator in the world that can short-cut the minefield of parenting.

Anyway, I frantically began reading parenting book after parenting book searching for the "perfect parenting method" for raising our children. Like a fad diet, I would excitedly latch onto one method, follow it to the letter and then feel like a complete failure when I couldn't make it work.

What kind of parent am I?

Next, I began copying a dear friend who seemed to have it all together. Her kids were well-mannered, well-behaved and always well-groomed. Hard as I tried to mimic her every move, that didn't last either. I felt doomed to be a bad mom with kids who dreamed of running away to find a better mom: a mom who wore aprons while baking perfectly moist cupcakes and spoke in a soothing tone at all times.

Finally, I did what I should have done all along...I prayed for God to help me find my "perfect parenting style."

This is what He has shown me:

1. There isn't one. Nope!

2. Kids and life refuse to follow a pattern to be mastered. Each moment, each stage and each child you have will differ from the last so there can never be a "one size fits all" method.

3. Prepare but know you won't always be prepared. I discuss what I expect with my children, let them know what will happen if they don't behave and then follow through with my preplanned punishment if needed. That being said, there are times when nothing could prepare me for what the day brings. So, we have to learn to pray without ceasing, follow what we know in our hearts about our children and handle each situation as it comes our way.

4. Don't be afraid to be yourself as a parent. We are going to be raising children for years to come so that's way too long to try to force yourself into a parenting style that isn't you. And that brings me to my favorite thing I've learned....

5. If God wanted your child to be raised like "so and so" is raising their children, He would have given your child to "so and so." Take that in for a second!

Chosen by God

God chose you to parent your child for a reason. You are the best equipped person to raise them into who He wants them to be. That means that with Him you can do it and do it well.

I'm not saying we shouldn't read parenting books or try to improve. Raising children is the toughest most important job we can ever have. It's a huge responsibility that warrants us putting forth our best efforts, but it is okay to make mistakes. We are going to mess up from time to time and so are our kids.

I think the most important thing to remember is to keep the lines of communication with our kids open and keep praying.

A Blog about a Frog!

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly."  John 10:10

Today was like many other summer days; we spent the morning on a project (cleaning out closets) and the afternoon rewarding ourselves with a swim at my parent's house. I highly recommend having a friend or relative with a pool close by. Anyway, before swimming the kids always check the pool strainer for frogs to be rescued. I'm not sure if it's the chemicals or just not having solid ground for a little r&r, but frogs don't last long in the strainer. 

Today, Gracie encountered a stubborn little frog that just refused to be helped. As soon as she would lift him from the pool and place him in the safety of the grass, he'd jump right back into the pool again. Knowing the fate of so many other pool frogs before him, Gracie was devastated. She kept saying, "I'm trying to save you, frog. I'm trying to help you."  

Hearing her concern, I thought of the one who saved me. How hurt He must be when, after being saved, we return to the life He died to rescue us from. That life may feel as familiar as cold water to a frog but God has something better for us. 

What this frog couldn't see is that my parents have a beautiful lake just a few jumps away. He was settling for the toxic, man-made pool that was never intended for him when, all the while, there was something better. 

In John 10:10, God says He came not just to give us life but an abundant life. But, we'll never see that abundant life if we jump back into a life that's toxic for us. It may be scary to take a leap of faith when the lake is nowhere in view, but it’s worth it. Let's quit settling for the pool and follow God to the lake!

P.S. – Just as we were about to leave for the afternoon, our little froggy friend swam straight to Gracie (seriously) and allowed her to scoop him up and place him in the grass.  He looked determined to stay out of the pool this time.  J

The Beauty of Our Scars

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."  Psalm 147:3

I recently watched an IMAX film about Great White Sharks.  Seeing such mighty predators glide gracefully through the water was mesmerizing.  What I quickly noticed was that each shark was covered in scars from tooth to tail...and yet they were absolutely stunning in their beauty.

The narrator mentioned how these markings, which varied from individual to individual, told what all the shark had experienced and survived.  I began thinking about my own scars and the stories they had to tell.  The 3" gash on the back of my left calf tells of a run-in with a bull at 8 years old, the road rash mark on the inside of my right wrist tells of a daring downhill adventure on a skateboard at 13 (this was back in the day when Christian Slater was "Gleaming the Cube" and hanging on my wall).  Yes, there are times that I'm all dressed up for a special night out with my hubby when I glance the tell-tell signs of a tomboy past and wish I had taken better care of myself.  But most of the time, the scars make me laugh.  Each one comes with a memory and a lesson learned along the way.  They are proof that I have experienced life and survived.

If only it were as easy to see my emotional scars with that same grace.  Sometimes, when God heals us from painful circumstances, a scar remains.  I have often prayed for God to remove all evidence of past hurts and mistakes but I'm starting to understand that even scars have their purpose.  Just like my skateboarding scar has served as a reminder to weigh the probability of survival before launching down a hill, there's a scar on my heart reminding me to let God provide the friendships He desires to bless me with rather than launching into relationships He never intended.  The freckles and sunspots from hours in the great outdoors remind me to cover myself in sunscreen while the spots on my heart remind me to cover myself in the protection that comes with obedience to God's Word. 

Let's try together to start viewing our emotional scars as beautiful testimonies of what we have experienced and survived instead of shameful reminders of mistakes gone by.  Each one a tale to tell and hope of healing to others we meet along the way. 

P.S. - I can't wait to see Jesus' beautiful nail scarred hands.  Now there's scars that tell an amazing story worth sharing!

8 Things You and I have in Common

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made: your works are wonderful, I know that full well."  Psalm 139:14

  

One unexpected blessing I've benefited from as a result of blogging is the heart-sharing emails and Facebook messages I've received.  I cherish and save each one!  Time and time again, I'm struck with a common thought....we are all so much more alike than we realize.  As women, we have the same worries, insecurities, doubts, fears and struggles.  I often want to pass along the wisdom shared with me through these messages so we can all benefit.  While I would never betray the trust of those who have opened their lives to me, I have compiled a list of what I have learned.  I wish I could write these in the hearts of every woman (including myself) because I think life would be so much easier if we all lived like we knew them.  And honestly, I think we know them somewhere in the back of our minds, but often that knowledge gets buried beneath the rubble of lies the enemy bombards us with on a daily basis.

Here goes:

#1 The prettiest, skinniest, most well-dressed, silky-haired, perfectly made-up woman in your town has insecurities about her appearance. 

#2  None of us married a perfect Prince Charming.  I hope and pray that we never make a habit of talking negatively about our husbands but remember:  just because people choose to focus on the romantic, thoughtful and good daddy moments doesn't mean their husbands don't do things worthy of a good thump to the ear every once in a while.  Even Prince Charming started out as a frog, mind you!

#3 The most well-organized, calendar yielding woman in the universe has forgotten a piano lesson, lunch date or school snack...and the world kept spinning! 

#4 The strongest, most devoted Christian woman you can think of still struggles, still has issues she's yet to overcome and still fights doubt and fear daily.  A couple of years ago, I was able to attend a Beth Moore conference with a wonderful group of women from our church.  Of all the truths shared that weekend, what has stuck with me most is the fact that beautiful, well-loved, famous, deep in the Word, Beth Moore shared that she struggles with insecurities so deep that if she wasn't able to turn them over to God in prayer, it would be impossible for her to even walk out on stage. 

#5 Every good mama feels like a horrible mama sometimes.  Maybe your 3 year old pitched an Oscar-worthy fit in front of a gawking crowd at Publix (again), your precious little girl was "mean" to a friend at recess and of course you got a phone call, or your teenager made a horrible choice you somehow blame yourself for.  Or maybe in a moment of weakness, you say (or shout) something you're sure your children will never get over.  Believe me, it happens to all of us.

#6  Even Martha Stewart has a cobweb behind her bed and if she had little ones, you'd better believe there would be a random french-fry or nugget under the seat of her mini-van. Your kids will never remember you once went three weeks without dusting but they will never forget all the time you spent playing with them instead of dusting!

#7  Everyone is disliked by someone.  I am not good at being disliked and have made myself near crazy trying to earn the approval of someone that I didn't even like to begin with.  Shhhh, don't tell anyone I said that!

#8 It will all be okay!  Maybe not today, but it will be.  God says so!

I'm thankful for each of you, my beautiful sisters!

Pearls for Pain

"To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the LORD has planted for his own glory."  Isaiah 61:3

There's just something special about a strand of pearls; their iridescent shimmer, the smooth way they feel against your skin, how they can magically make even the simplest of outfits look pulled together.  For our 1 year anniversary, my husband gave me my very first set of pearls (real ones!).  I was so surprised, I bounced back and forth between giggling like a 10 year old at a slumber party and crying like a baby.  I'm not sure what made him think to buy them for me but nothing could have been more perfect.  I felt so feminine, classy and grown up like a Queen or Jackie O!  I still feel that way each and every time I wear them.

Recently, I was praying for a friend who's going through some difficult and life-changing circumstances.  During one of our recent conversations, she said something that haunted me for several days afterward.  She said that she used to pray for God to not let anything bad happen to her.  I guess it affected me so deeply because I have prayed that same prayer many times before...and yet something bad and undeserving did happen to my sister in Christ.  But as I was praying, God brought to mind my precious pearls and I began to research how they are made.  I was amazed by what I discovered!

A pearl is formed when an irritant like a grain of sand or parasite enters an oyster's protective shell and is unable to be expelled.  To protect itself from the ongoing cuts and pain brought by the irritant, the oyster slowly begins to coat it with layer after layer of a lustrous material called nacre.  It's these layers that give pearls their iridescent shimmer.  It takes 6-8 years to form a single pearl so it's no wonder they are so valued.  And would you have ever imagined that at the heart of something so beautiful is something that caused pain?

Honestly, I would never want to experience what my sweet friend is going through but as an outsider, I am able to see the beautiful pearl God is creating as she allows Him to gradually coat her pain with layer after layer of His healing love and guidance.  Each time I see her she is shimmering more and more with the radiance that only comes from spending time with the Lord.  He truly is giving her beauty for ashes.

I don't know what hurts you have experienced in your life or what might be threatening to break through your protective shell at any moment, but I do know who can take that pain and turn it into something beautiful if you'll let Him.  It may not happen overnight, but it will happen.

And a special thanks to my friend who is not only triumphantly walking through this with God but also sharing the pearls of wisdom she's gaining as she goes along.

If you would like to receive this blog by email, please enter your email address in the "follow by email" box on the upper right of the page and click "submit."  

Ironing Out the Wrinkles of Childhood

"Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart." Proverbs 29:17 

We have two children, both with very different personalities and learning styles.  If you have more than one, I can almost guarantee yours are just as different (I'm convinced it's life's little joke on us as parents).  I remember as a new mom, reading parenting book after parenting book and trying different methods until I locked-in on exactly what worked with my firstborn.  I thought I had this parenting thing all figured out until my second child arrived and my surefire parenting strategies didn't seem to work...AT ALL!  I tried and tried to make her fit into the parenting style I was used to but it just left us both frustrated. I struggled with the belief that I needed to treat and raise both of my children exactly the same to be fair.  There's just one problem with that theory...my children aren't the same and it is actually more unfair to treat them like they are!  I ended up having to re-buy all the parenting books I had given away back when I knew everything and start all over again.

Here's an overview of my two blessings ( I won't use names but if you know us, it probably won't take you long to figure out which child is which):

Child One

• A rule follower so they rarely do anything to warrant punishment
• Loves to please so again, they rarely get into trouble
• Tender-hearted to the point that a disapproving glance can bring on the tears so lower levels of discipline are usually all that's needed to correct a behavior
• Has a heavy conscience and will often confess before you even know they've done anything wrong
• Safety first so that saves them from a lot of trouble

Child Two

• Rules?  What rules?
• Very intelligent and may often use that intelligence to find trouble where others may not and also to avoid discovery of said trouble.  If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, did I really do anything wrong in the first place?
• Happy in all circumstances so punishments don't seem that bad.  Seriously, you put this child in time-out and they will put on a puppet show with their socks! 
• Happy-go-lucky attitude means punishments and lessons are quickly forgotten which leads to repeat offenses and tougher punishments
• Not afraid of anything

One of my children is a lot like me which makes parenting much easier.  I usually know how they think, how they feel, how best to explain new concepts, etc.  Teaching the other child requires more effort on my part but is also very rewarding because I'm learning and growing right along with them instead of staying in my little box.  Anyway, I want to parent both children the best way possible and so that leads to a lot of praying.  One day as I was praying and ironing, God used that ironing to show me that not only is it okay to parent my children differently, it's often necessary.

When I first started ironing my own clothes I thought it was absolutely ridiculous that there were so many settings.  I ironed everything the same.  My motto was, "turn that puppy on high and let's get the show on the road."  It didn't take too many melty, shiny spots on my favorite outfits to develop an appreciation for all those ridiculous settings.  Not enough heat on cotton and you are wasting your time...the wrinkles will remain.  Too much heat on silk and you will hurt the fabric. 

Parenting kids with different personalities can be similar.  If your child is more like cotton (think my kid #2) and you don't use enough heat (punishment), you may fail to "iron out" their wrinkles.  If your child is more delicate like silk, it can be easy to use too much heat and hurt the very fabric you are trying to improve. 

It's tough to know just how much discipline and correction is right for each child and each situation, but with patience and God's direction, I know we'll get it Wright.

Handle with care!