Christian Resolution Solution

"See, I am doing a new thing!  Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?  I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." Isaiah 43:19

There's just something special about anything new...that new car smell, the softness of a newborn's skin, the first signs of Spring.  New means clean and fresh and brings with it the excitement of possibilities.  That's why one of my favorite things about God is that He is a god of new beginnings.  In the beginning, He created the heavens and the earth (Genesis 1:1) and ever since He's been giving those who turn to Him a new life.  Ezekiel 36:26 says, "And I will give you a new heart and a new spirit I will put within you."  2 Corinthians 5:17 promises that if we are in Christ, we are a new creature and Lamentations 3:22-23 tells that His mercies are new each morning.  Isn't that exciting!

With the new year approaching, I've been thinking about new beginnings and trying to decide if I want to commit to a resolution.  Now, you and I both know there's nothing magical about the start of a new year any more than the start of a new day or week, but there's nothing wrong with starting off 2015 with a Christ-centered goal.  In fact, I think it's wise for us to look back at how we've grown more like Christ over the past year and pinpoint areas that could use a little improvement.  After all, we receive grades in school and evaluations at work so why shouldn't we take the most important area of our life just as seriously?

Pray About it!

We should take the time to sit with God and ask Him what He would like for us to do or change.  Maybe it's to set aside a daily quiet time to read our Bible and pray?  Maybe it's to work on a specific issue like a bad attitude or quick tongue?  To be more disciplined with our thoughts?  To forgive?  Maybe we could study and work on the fruits of the spirit one by one?

Commit to it!

Whatever it is, we need to write it down and put it where we can see it each morning. We can study to see what God's Word says about it and consider getting a Bible study on the topic.  Let's set goals and celebrate reaching them.  Maybe even ask someone to be our accountability partner?

See it through!

Let's refuse to give up and instead strive for the prize (Philippians 3:13-14)!  Replacing old habits with new ones will take time but if we pray for guidance throughout the day instead of relying on our own willpower, no habit will be too hard to break.  Unlike resolutions made on our own, we have the assurance that when we seek to do God's will for our lives, He will help us.  "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."  Philippians 4:13

Let's do this!  I want to look back at 2015 and know I'm more like Jesus!

Managing Your Emotions Part 3: Emotions Are Good!

The last two posts have discussed why it's a bad idea to be led by our emotions and why it's so hard not to be.  Parts 1 and 2 are on the right side of the page if you would like to read them.

Honestly, emotions have cost me quite a lot through the years; relationships, tears, integrity, sleepless nights and most of all, peace.  I've often wished I could just flip a switch and turn them off forever but nope, they are as constant as the color of my eyes.

Why, oh why would God give us emotions if they are capable of causing us so much trouble?  Genesis 1:27 says that we are created in His image so that means God has emotions too. 

• Anger - Psalm 7:11, Ezra 5:13, Exodus 22:24, Deuteronomy 9:22, Romans 1:18
• Laughter - Psalm 2:4 & 37:13,  Proverbs 1:26  (I can't wait to hear God laugh!)
• Compassion - Psalm 103:13 & 135:14, Ezekiel 33:19
• Grief - Genesis 6:6, Psalm 78:40, Isaiah 68:10
• Love - Jeremiah 31:3, John 3:16, 1 John 4:8
• Jealousy - Exodus 20:5 & 34:14, Joshua 24:19
• Joy - Jeremiah 32:41, Zephaniah 3:17, Isaiah 62:5 

Isn't it comforting to know that our King not only knows WHAT we are feeling but HOW we are feeling as well?  That's what makes Him relatable which enables us to have a trusting relationship with Him.  Emotions are also what make us relatable to others we need to reach for Christ.  Our sympathy leads to forgiveness, our compassion to giving, our love to sharing Jesus, our anger to seeking change, our grief to the comforting arms of our Father. 

Emotions are good, they just weren't created to be in charge!

As much trouble as I've gotten myself into by not controlling my emotions, I have to admit that life would be pretty bland without them.  Think of what it must have been like when TV switched from black and white to Technicolor!  Yowzers (that's what I imagine people would have said back then)!  Feelings make life more colorful and lively.  With anger, sadness and loneliness, you also get laughing so hard you can't breathe, the tingle of holding your husband's hand and tears of joy when you hear "mama" for the first time.  It's worth it!

Emotions are a gift from God.  They are good, but like other gifts from the Lord, Satan tries to twist them into something that can cause us harm.  We've let him get away with that for far too long.  It's time we took back control of our emotions.  They don't need to be the star of the show, just the Technicolor icing on top!

The next post will look at ways we can put emotions in their place.  Please, please, please message me, email me, call me, smoke signal me with your ideas...I need your input!

Managing Emotions Part 2: The UnFun Roller Coaster

Yesterday, I posted Part 1 of Managing Your Emotions.  It was all about how emotions can be mean little boogers...they are unstable, ever-changing and they lie.  If you didn't get a chance to read it, I hope you will take the time to scan through it.  It's not Hemingway or anything but it does make some valid points about the dangers of relying on our feelings. 

So, if our emotions are unstable and untrustworthy, why are we so easily lead by them?

1. They are our constant and earliest companion.  Our emotions are with us every second of every day, everywhere we go which makes them a little difficult to ignore.
2. They are LOUD little things!  Feelings can be incredibly strong and run deep which also makes them hard to ignore.
3. Even though they often lie or make situations seem larger than life, they seem genuine and justified at the time.  The old adage to "just sleep on it" comes in handy here.  It's amazing what a difference a day makes.
4. They demand urgency, convincing you something must be done right away or you will fall over dead from the unaddressed injustice.  Once again, "just sleep on it" sounds like words of a genius who's been there, done that.  We seldom make wise decisions or choose wise words when acting out of a sense of urgency.
5. Emotions are a habit.  If you're like me, you've let emotions manage you instead of you managing them for as long as you can remember.  They aren't going to relinquish their control over night.  You've got to replace the bad habit with a new one by repeatedly choosing to be led by God instead.

It's easy to see how emotions are the perfect tool for Satan to hold us back and load us down with all sorts of trouble.  If we are constantly led by them, we can be sure to expect:

1. fights with friends and family
2. needless worry (all worry is needless.  See Matthew 6:25-27)
3. a constant roller coaster that's not fun
4. magnified insecurities
5. drama, drama, drama

Yuck, none of us wants a life like that.  That's why we've got to learn to trust God instead of our emotions if we are ever going to experience the peace He intends for us.  God is everything our emotions are not!  He's trustworthy.  2 Samuel 7:28 says, "  Lord God, You are God; Your words are true, and You have promised grace to Your servant."  He is also stable and constant regardless of our changing circumstances.  Hebrews 13:8 promises, "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever."  There's no better foundation to build a life upon than God. 

All of this focus on the negative side of emotions is draining but needed.  Tomorrow, we'll turn things around and talk about the good that comes from our feelings.  Yes, those lying little boogers are good for something!

Managing Emotions Part 1: Emotions Are Mean Little Boogers!

"We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,"  2 Corinthians 10:5

A while back, I was given the opportunity to guest teach a youth girl's class at my church on the topic of managing emotions.  I was thrilled to be assigned this lesson because it's an area of my life I've really been working on over the last couple of years. 

Now, with that being said, there are still moments you could speak to me and think, "She's come a long way in learning to control her emotions???  Yikes, what was she like before?"  That's why I mercifully claim the scriptures above, Philippians 3:13-14, as my life verses; I think they perfectly summarize our Christian journey.  I haven't obtained perfection in managing my emotions but I am pressing forward and seeing progress with each passing day.  Hey, it's not easy breaking a habit that's dug in over 30+ years (don't ask how many pluses!). 

But, I'm determined to exit the emotional roller coaster once and for all and resist all future rides.

I shared with those sweet and crazy girls an example of how terrible it would be to have an unstable boss at work.  Someone who's up one minute, down the next.  Someone who lies constantly, stirs up trouble where there is none and is just simply unpredictable.  None of us would want to be managed by someone like that and yet many of us are...our emotions.

Emotions are based on feelings and feelings aren't stable!  Feelings are unstable because they can be easily swayed by so many things:

• our circumstances
• who we are around and their attitudes
• how much rest we've been getting or not getting
• our insecurities
• hormones
• other's opinions of us
• how we feel physically
• how much time we've spent with God                    

                                                                                                the list is endless!

Not only are emotions unstable, but they also lie:

• emotions can convince you a friend is angry with you when really, they are just having a bad day and it has nothing to do with you
• they say you aren't good enough, aren't liked or accepted when nothing could be further from the truth
• they convince you someone was talking bad about you when you entered the room when they were actually saying how much they love your outfit
• they whisper that things will never get any better and that you can't change when God's word clearly offers hope to the contrary

You get the picture.  Emotions can be mean little boogers!

So, if emotions are unstable and lie, why are we so easily lead by them?

We'll tackle that question tomorrow but until then, I'd love to hear your thoughts, ideas and struggles with emotions. I could use all the insight you are willing to pass along.  

Mind Your Own Business!

"and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life:  You should mind your own business and work with your hands..."  1 Thessalonians 4:11

I recently helped my grandmother sort through my great-grandmother's jewelry.  My great-grandmother, Maw, had a love for all that sparkled along with a knack for making necklaces that would rival anything Charming Charlie has to offer. 

As we combed through the pieces, I dreamed of all the ways I could incorporate these treasures into my wardrobe.  But that dream quickly became a jumbled up, tangled up nightmare!  At least a gazillion (okay, maybe it was more like 7 but it might as well have been a gazillion) of the strands were connected in a maze of mess.

Now, I am not exactly known for my patience.  In fact, if my precious grandmother hadn't been sitting by my side, I probably would have ripped them apart Hulk style and been done with it.  Thankfully, we were able to get them all separated and of course, it was well worth every second of the untangling process.  On a side note, if you ever need me to be patient, the promise of homemade coconut cake seems to help. 

Where is this lovely story leading you might ask?  Well, yesterday as I sat down on the back porch to read my Bible and pray, I couldn't focus.  My mind felt just like those jumbled up, tangled up necklaces; thoughts running in every direction but leading nowhere and beads of emotion making it impossible to unwind.

As I asked God to untangle the mess, it dawned on me that much of what was occupying my thoughts was none of my concern.  And wouldn't you know it, the Bible has a verse for that!  1 Thessalonians 4:11 says to "make it your ambition to lead a quiet life:  You should mind your own business and work with your hands..."  That's pretty straight forward, huh?

Unfortunately, it can be pretty hard to mind your own business sometimes.  It seems like we are constantly being bombarded with other people's business with every call, text or scroll through social media.  It's easy to get distracted and caught up before you even realize it.  I love that the verse says to work with your hands (note that it says hands, not scrolling thumb!) because it is hard to wander into someone else's business when you are actively working on your own.

Once I removed all the thoughts that were none of my business, my mind felt less jumbly and my burden seemed lighter.  Of course being both Type A, as y'all well know, and forgetful to boot, I thought it would be best to see my responsibilities (my business) in writing. 

Look how small the list is!  Now that's doable!  

The Cost of Perfection

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ's power may rest on me.  2 Corinthians 12:9

I know I'm not perfect but I sure want to be.  I think even my list of what I want to improve upon...is well...perfect.  I'm not seeking the perfect body, home, hubby or kids.  I'm not hoping to obtain the perfect balance in my bank account or the perfect wardrobe.  I want good, Christiany perfection. I want to be a perfect mom and wife.  I want to be a more obedient and trusting child of God; a Proverbs 31 kind of woman.  I want to write perfect blog posts!

I want all of this perfection for the right reasons and for the right people.  I want it so those around me will see how awesome God is and want to know Him better.  All good things, but honestly, it's not working out too well for me.  I simply can't pull off perfection and striving for it is exhausting (seriously, EXHAUSTING)! 

Repeatedly falling short of my unrealistic expectations is disappointing (and EXHAUSTING).  We simply weren't meant to be perfect so it's like a right handed person trying to do everything left handed.  It's EXHAUSTING people!

But the absolute worst part about seeking perfection is that it often causes us to do the opposite of what we were hoping to achieve in the first place.  Take my blog for example...I'm so hung up on wanting each post to measure up to some imagined level that I often find it hard to post what I write in fear that it will fall short.  My goal is to share what God is doing in my life but I often end up not sharing at all. 

What good is a boat that never leaves the dock?  What good is a voice that's never heard? 

At some point, we have to realize that a messy message is often better than no message at all.  God can use messy and imperfect.  On the other hand, He can't use what we never do!  And why on earth do we set such high standards for ourselves when the One who called us, the only one capable of perfection wants to use us just the way we are? 

2 Corinthians 12:9 says that His power is made perfect in our weaknesses. God knew I couldn't spell, loved run-on sentences and misused commas when He called me to start In the Wright Direction and guess what?  Not one of you have commented on my lack of grammar skills (don't take that as an invitation to start).

I know you've probably seen lists like this before but I hope you'll take a look anyway:

Jeremiah was too young

Abraham was too old

Moses stuttered

Gideon was afraid

Rahab was a prostitute

David was an adulterer and murderer

Jonah ran from God

Peter denied Christ

Martha was a worry wart

Lazarus was dead

and yet God used every single one of them and their testimonies are still changing lives today.  What's your excuse?  God gave us these examples to demolish our excuses and give us hope.  He wants to use you just the way you are.

I hope you'll pray for me as I battle my excuses for not writing more often and if you let me know, I'll pray for you too.

P.S. - Brandall, my editor,  wants it noted that I already have the "perfect husband," and he corrected 4 grammatical errors in this post.  

You Grow Girl!

"Like newborn babies, long for the pure milk of the word, so that by it you may grow in respect to salvation."   1 Peter 2:2

My kids love to hear how much they've grown and being raised in the South they've each heard their share of, "Wow, you are growing like a weed!"  At this phase in life, it's easy to see how rapidly they are changing.  It's evident in the shoes and clothes that have to be replaced every few months, the loss of teeth, a changing voice and an ever growing grocery bill. 

My daughter measures her growth by where the bathroom counter comes to her waste as I style her hair before school and my son by how easily he can pick me up off the ground.  Okay, I have to just keep typing here because if I stop, I will cry (possibly for days).  Seriously, I no longer pick up my son and carry him on my hip; he picks me up instead!

Anyway, my kid's excitement at seeing their progress has me wondering why I no longer get excited by my own growth. 

Last night, I had the opportunity to teach a girl's Bible study class at my church.  When I discovered the subject was managing your emotions, I just knew this was an assignment straight from God.  It's a topic near and dear to my heart because I've actually been working on managing my emotions for the last couple of years.  As I sat down to pray and make notes for the class, I was amazed at how much I had to pass along...because I have grown! I was elated to see that I was a few inches taller in this area than I once was. 

Whether it's in my work outs, breaking bad habits, being a good mom, etc., I tend to focus on all I'm lacking.  All I can see is how far I still have to go.  I never stop to notice just how far I've already come!

Leading the Bible study gave me the chance to do just that.  It was like standing with my back to a door frame ticking off a pencil mark and stepping away to see a big gap between the me of two years ago and the me of today.  It was exciting!

It can be so easy to get tied up in striving for perfection that we overlook all that
God has already accomplished in us.  But it's comforting to know that God doesn't overlook our changes any more than you could go without noticing your own child's growth.  He sees, He acknowledges and He celebrates your growth each and every day!

Today, I hope you will slow down enough to see, acknowledge and celebrate just how far you've come.  It might give you just the encouragement and excitement you need to keep going!  You're doing it...inch by inch, and heading in the (W)right direction!